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If you failed in a relationship, you might refuse to examine what went wrong or to date in fear of going through the pain of another breakup. You prefer inaction to protect yourself from the emotional pain of a breakup or rejection, but this also means you might be turning away from a possible great relationship, and you are missing out the fun of dating.

Try discovering the positives of any situation even failure, this is called positive reframing. Contemplate different ways of describing the situation in which you feel you failed, for example you better say “I have not found work yet” instead of “I failed to find work”.

State the situation without judgment and look for the best; try to understand why your attempt was not successful and try again. Failure gives you the opportunity to learn till you get it right; take into account all athletes and other successful people who have failed at first, but they persevered until they achieved their goal.

Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team at high school, but he worked hard and became one of the greatest basketball players of all- time. When you are down, try using humor to encourage yourself; seeing humor in your situation can help you see things in perspective.

With failure, you often tend to beat yourself up over it; you may even call yourself names. Identify negative thinking so you can diffuse it; the common negative thoughts may include “I’m a failure, there is no way I can come back, I might as well give up”.

Write down affirmations that go against this negative self- talk; say aloud “I’m a capable person” and write it down many times till you begin to change your negative thinking. Stop replaying what happened over and over in your head, this is called rumination – instead think of ways to improve yourself.


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