Virtually, our emotional wounds are intertwined with issues of worthiness; we are kept from creating the lives we most desire by feelings of unworthiness, which we must conquer to consciously create and heal our emotional wounds.
On day one at school, we are taught there is passing and failing, right and wrong and deserving and non- deserving, all adding up to feeling worthy or not worthy. All the time we must prove our worth- not just worthy to move on to the next grade- of acknowledgment, approval and even love.
We must do what we are told to fit in with the group dynamic, thus our emotional needs are met. But when we think for ourselves and we do not fit in, we get emotionally punished by disappointment, disapproval and withholding love, which means we are deemed unworthy. We are deeply programmed to believe that in order to succeed, others must find us worthy.
Of course, conditions of worthiness differ according to the environment, culture and society, therefore you can be worthy to some but not to others. Sometimes, we alter ourselves artificially as per different relationships and situations in order to increase our worthiness quotient. Surely, the cost of pretending to be someone else we are not to please others involves some level of secrecy and shame.
We must be on guard all the time, as we always feel self- conscious about the expectations of others, whether parents, partners or bosses, and we change our behavior accordingly to be deemed worthy and get approval.
We can be authentic in some situations, but we must be ready to alter our real selves if the situation suddenly changes. Consequently, we can never really relax; we are in a constant state of anxiety to be able to shift identities momentarily.