• When you stay with the other person expecting he will change, you are in this relationship for the wrong reason. You try to change him to fit your expectations rather than accept him as he is. If the person changes, soon you will find something else in him that needs to be changed, and you will never be fully satisfied.
It is not a healthy relationship to see the other person as an extension of you rather than a separate individual. Eventually, you will have to part ways to grow as individuals, for him to grow into his own and the same for you as well.
• You keep justifying his actions to feel good about him. When we are faced with something that makes us uncomfortable, we come up with justifications and explanations to feel good about the situation. If you feel the need to justify his actions, this means you want to explain the discomfort you feel. This is dangerous because these self- created explanations may or may not be true.
When you are repeatedly justifying his actions, your relationship together becomes built on rationalizations and a world of false assurances rather than reality. To see reality as it is, let his actions speak for themselves; ultimately actions speak louder than words.
• If the other party is causing you physical/ verbal/ emotional hurt, there is clearly something wrong. If he hits/ abuses/ swears at you, no matter how hard he tries to make up for it later, this means there is something deep inside him that needs addressing. You cannot ignore emotional hurt being not visible; it is trickier and the hardest to heal.
• When the same issues recur even though you tried addressing them many times, it is not a good sign. If you did what you can to make it work out, but it is always the same end, this is enough evidence that nothing will come out of this relationship.