The term “gaslighting” first came from an old movie. In that movie, the guy changed things in the surroundings of his wife and when she started to notice them, he told her that she was something to the effect of “delusional”.
Most likely, you have come across the term if you found that marriage isn’t a blissing and were looking for help or solutions. These things you will learn about gaslighting will help you better evaluate your marital life:
1- Gaslighting is a type of manipulation. This isn’t a merit, even if you are one of those who love planning and having things in control, because – after all – we aren’t “things”. We are human beings who don’t enjoy being pulled and pushed like chess pieces.
2- Those “practicing” gaslighting are not necessarily aware they are doing it! Imagine this, a husband plots to destroy the friendship between his wife and one of her friends because he has witnessed how much of a bad influence this friend has on his wife. So, he is actually thinking he is doing something good and acting in his wife’s best interest (even though he isn’t).
3- You may have qualities that makes it easier for the other party to gaslight you. However, they are not necessarily bad. In fact, they are amazing and wonderful to have if it wasn’t for the other party who used them this way. They are: knowing that you are right and trying to prove it, and trying to make others approve of you, and trying to make them understand you.
4- Your gaslighter doesn’t know you better than you know yourself. Most likely, he doesn’t know you at all. He is just nurturing and maximizing the view he has of you in his head.
Understanding the personality and techniques of gaslighters will make you better understand how to deal with them.