Intimacy is often thought as a term that involves romantic relationships. However, this is a mistake. Intimacy concerns our relationships with others whether it involves romance or not. And since human beings cannot live solely and therefore need intimacy, it is important to recognize signs of fear of intimacy before one becomes too lonely. Such signs are:
1- One of the surprising signs of fearing intimacy is that you can’t sit still. You are always busy, and if you manage to find some spare time, you try to find something to do to keep yourself busy. This is because you do not want to face reality about having no strong relationships with anyone.
2- You are perfect, or at least you appear so to others. To others, you seem like the most perfect person who is able to keep it together all the time. To be more exact, you look like you need no one to lean on. Trying to be perfect takes time and energy that pushes others away.
3- You have a specific list of the qualities you want in your other half. So you look for the person that fits this list, but you are not able to find it. Being like this, you fail to accept that humans have both merits and flaws, and you hide behind this list to avoid facing your fear of intimacy.
4- Instead of looking for a shoulder to cry on, your shoulder is the one everyone cries on. You are too powerful to need anyone or to be close to anyone, or even to look for comfort from anyone.
5- The phrase: “misery likes company” is actually true. And since humans bond over weaknesses not strengths, and since you are a positive strong person who is always happy and strong and never has a weakness, others do not become close to you. They admire you but they cannot be close to you.